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Sharing your nanny with your co-parent after divorce

On Behalf of | Dec 8, 2021 | High Asset Divorce |

If you’re like many parents, your nanny is almost part of your family – or at least an integral part of your family’s life. So what happens when you divorce?

If possible, it’s best to keep them in your life – and your children’s lives. You and your co-parent will need someone to care for your children more than ever as you transition to single parenting. More important, however, is the continuity and consistency your nanny can give your children throughout and after the divorce.

If you and your ex will be living within reasonably close proximity and sharing custody, your nanny can likely continue to care for your children across both homes. There are some issues you’ll need to work out, however.

Some important things to keep in mind

Every family is different, but let’s look at some important matters to consider when you’re working out how to share your nanny.

  • Give your nanny access to your parenting time schedule as it pertains to them and which home they’ll be working in on any given day.
  • Try to keep your rules consistent across households, but make sure your nanny knows what they are in each home if they’re different.
  • Determine how they will be paid and by whom, as well as how any expenses they cover for your kids will be reimbursed. Don’t put your nanny in the middle of any child support battles.
  • Clarify with your nanny what they can and can’t say if your kids ask about the divorce. By no means should they take sides or criticize one parent or the other – nor should you expect them to. You do have a right to ask them to let you know if the children ask, say or do anything concerning that you and your co-parent should address.
  • Don’t ask your nanny to relay messages between you and your co-parent – any more than you would ask your children to.

Ask your nanny if there’s anything they need from you that you haven’t covered. Now might be a good time to consider a raise to cover added transportation time or responsibilities.

If you’re going to keep your nanny on, it may be a good idea to include these and other issues in your parenting plan and child support agreement. This will minimize conflict and confusion for everyone.