Spending your first summer apart after a divorce may bring a mixed bag of feelings. There will likely be things you get to enjoy that you might not have before because your spouse was not into them, as well as occasions when it will feel odd not having your ex to accompany you to an event you always enjoyed together.
If you share children, you can be sure they, too, will find summer very different. They’re less likely to be enjoying extra freedoms and more likely to be missing the presence of one of you in events you used to enjoy as a family. It’ll probably be the little moments that catch them off guard – the realization that the annual street BBQ just isn’t the same without Dad there to overcook the burgers. Or that the long car journey to Grandma’s isn’t the same without Mum singing along out of tune to Taylor Swift.
Celebrate the new while honoring the old
Now is a good time to start creating new family traditions that will generate fond memories to look back on. You can start building one set with your kids, and your ex can start building another set when the kids are with them.
You might also want to adapt some of the old ones so the children can maintain their summer memories of growing up with both of you together. Maybe Dad could include a few of the songs Mum loved to sing along to into the playlist for this year’s drive to Grandma’s, for example.
Often, what children remember most about summer is the fact that their parents had time to play with them, to take off the serious hat and mess about in ways that they might not usually do. Divorce can be a complex time with a lot of serious matters to resolve, so your children might not have seen much of your lighter side lately. Using summer as an excuse to have some fun with your children can benefit you all. This will be much easier if you can reduce friction in the divorce and build the basis for a strong and amicable co-parenting relationship.
